How to Smooth Out the Recession for Big Business

Note: I know this a bit out of the realm of a wedding photographer, but this idea is just so simple it could work.

Hey Big Business,

I know you’ve laid off lot’s of people in the past few months. And as an entrepreneur, I understand the need to control costs. But what if you could control your costs, keep your employees (even strengthen their loyalty to your company), and possibly increase your revenue during this slow down?

How?

Eliminate your advertising budget. Then proclaim to your employees your undying devotion to keeping them on staff. While you’re at it, let every media channel know what you’re doing.

Here’s the benefits:

  • Increased employee loyalty: If you were to hold a company wide televised meeting, and tell each and every employee that their job is safe, you will develop a safe culture where your employees will be able to focus on helping your customers, and not on fear.
  • Those loyal employees can serve as your evangelists: What’s more powerful? Seeing a splashy Target ad on TV, or having the entire 200 Target employee force, sharing how great the store is to all of their friends? That’s Viral Marketing! Facebook and Twitter not needed.
  • Happier American Culture: I blame corporate retail super centers for the decline in American intelligence and morale. If your store were to bank the future of the company on your employees, educate them, and empower them you would be affecting the nation’s people in a positive direction at the same time.
  • Image enhancement: Let’s face it. There are a lot of us that revolt from retail corporations (It might have something to do with removing money from local economies – Sorry, I know I’m trying to help here not criticize). Imagine what the benefit would be for your company image? If you declared that 50 jobs in a some town would be spared, the loyalty to your brand would be immensely strengthened.

Who needs ads when you can have a huge sales force?

What would it cost? Well let’s look at the numbers:
Walmart has an advertising budget of Half a Billion Dollars a year.

$500,000,000 (yes, lot’s of zero’s)
Divide that by:
$ 25,000 (salary of someone making $12.50/hr)

=20,000 Employees!!!

That’s 20,000 employees you can save. That’s 20,000 people that won’t be afraid about losing their job. That’s 20,000 people that can be loyal to you and be trained to be a positive sales force for your company!!! BTW, if you want some customer service/selling training done, I’ll make a DVD and hold weekly conference calls for a year for a $100k, I’ll even throw in a T-shirt.

What about advertising agencies you ask? Well… Do you really think there are many businesses that have the balls to try something like this?

…Didn’t think so.

I think the advertising agencies will be alright.

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There Ain’t No Pageantry in Cockfighting

A short novela recounting a surf trip to Baja turns South when the engine my '71 Volkswagon seized, leading me on an adventure down Baja 1000 roads, encounters with transvestite prostitutes, and drought ending weddings.

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