One of the Thap Tawan village elders Seewai invited us to go octopus fishing one day. I had no idea how to catch an octopus (moy wai in Thai) and the night before I had visions of heading out to sea in a longtail boat and snorkeling down with spearguns and fighting huge octopus. So morning comes along and a couple of us collected at the road to wait for Adam who told us he’d be by before 5:45 in the morning. 6AM goes by and we haven’t seen him yet. With my motor bike I rode down the way to see if there were anyone else waiting and ran into Josh and Jen who were still waiting also, I rode to Adam’s and found the truck still there which meant he was still asleep. Scrambling when woken up he yells at me that it’s only 4 in the morning. After pointing out to him that the the sun is up and since we are so close to the equator the sun usually rises around 6 in the morning. He then mutters something about his phone being wrong and throws on some shorts and runs outside. Well, on the way. Then we get out there late and Seewai was waiting for us. He took us out to the beach where there was no boat waiting, no spearguns for us, no snorkels. ”

What were we going to do?” I thought as Seewai just kept walking out to the water which was pretty well receded as it was low tide. So everyone just followed him. We walked out to the offshore reef and saw some really cool things on our way out we saw plenty of sea slugs (which apparently you can jerk off and they will cum all over your hand… Nice), we saw about 5 puffer fish that were just chilling out in the reef and puffing up when we sloshed by, lot’s of crabs, in fact we caught those as bait for the octopus.

This is how we learned to catch an octopus: You take a piece of crab meat and stick it on the end of a string or piece of seagrass. Then you look for small holes in the sand in the reef areas and stick the crabmeat in the hole. Wait until the octopus comes out and then you stick it with a long metal prong. Then string them up and take them home to cook them up. One of the girls, Koi, had her own unorthodox way of catching them; She let them catch her. We walked up to her and an octopus had wrapped itself around her leg!!!

It was a fascinating day out on the reef. The morning light gave way to the harsh mid-day sun, and we made our way back to shore.

‘Life is great’ I think to myself as I tool on down the paved jungle road to the beach on my motorbike. I’ve got Nikki, this blond busty knockout from Holland on the back and the beer in the basket on the front. We are heading down to one of the beaches to meet up with people after a long day of work for a swim in the Andamman Sea.
The jungle is alive and incredibly beautiful as we look and talk about the beautiful flowers blooming next to and above the curvy road on the trees. I speed up to give our ride a little excitement hoping she’ll press up closer to me.
At 70 K/h, I see the sharp turn ahead and I know I’m going too fast so I try to slow down and head for the outside lane.
At 60 K/h, I see the car coming at us in the outside lane and decide hitting the brakes is a better idea.
At 50 K/h, I see the loose sand and junk all over the road which will make me slide out if I brake hard, so… Option 3.
At 40 K/h We take the ditch.
I manage to keep the bike upright even as we hit the rock. I feel Nikki slamming into me from behind. I remember thinking how I wanted her breasts pressed up against me and thought that this was not how I imagined it happening.
By this time the bike is stopped and on it’s right side and I turn around to see if she is hurt. She doesn’t think she is. We get up assisted by some people that had stopped. I have a numb feeling in my left ankle but seem unharmed. Nikki notices that she has a cut in her toe and decides she should get it taken care of and hitches a ride back to the Volunteer Center to patch it up.
I figure I should go down and soak my foot, which is starting to ache, in the sea and have a beer to kill the adrenaline which is boiling in my veins.
I get the bike out of the ditch with the help of a young Thai woman and hop on and go to kick the bike into first gear and notice that I can’t. The gear shifter had been sheared clean off the bike by my foot at impact. At this point I’m glad I wasn’t wearing flip-flops

I seem to be stuck in third gear, until I can get the bike fixed.

When I get down to the beach, I notice that the adrenaline waning and the pain is waxing. I think to myself this point that I may have sprained my ankle.
I drop off the beer for everyone and let them know what happened and tell them I’m going back to put ice on my ankle.
I drive back up the hill, in third gear, and stop at the center to check in with Nikki who is now being patched up and icing her ankle. I make sure she’s OK emotionally and all that and head back down to town, get some ice, beer and chill out for the rest of the evening.
The following morning I wake up and this is what I see:

So I think that I might have a broken toe and I’m certain I have a sprained ankle, I most certainly have the worlds most swollen foot ever. Both toe and ankle are confirmed with a trip to the luxurious Phuket hospital a couple days later. I’m still waiting to hear back from Guiness regarding the record for swollen foot.
Important things of note during my time at the hospital;

• This is my first trip to a hospital in over 10 years.
• My first trip to a hospital in over 10 years is in another country.
• Time from hobbling up to the counter to seeing a specialist: 4 minutes.
• Time from seeing specialist to xray: 10 minutes.
• The only slow thing in the hospital was me limping through the hallways because I refused to occupy a wheelchair for a sprained ankle.
• Cost of being seen, X-rayed, and prescriptions and dressing; 2,400 Baht equivalent to roughly 60 U.S. Dollars.

While I was in the hospital so was my motor bike. It had to have the gear shifter replaced and the front wheel repaired and a few minor things here and there. It didn’t cost me but 10 dollars for all the repairs as the labor and parts are very inexpensive here.
Now it’s out of the shop, and I’m out of the shop. Time to get back up on that little scooter and ride again.

It just hurts my toe a little when I shift!!!